Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize