Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
