just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize