there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
