You can't special order awesome
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
