ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
