My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
