if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
