Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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