maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
