Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
