i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize