so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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