would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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