jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
