Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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