she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
