just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
