Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
