Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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