I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
