I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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