He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
