How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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