I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize