i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
