I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
