wanna go halves on a baby?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
