sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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