I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
