one might say we're banned from that church
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
