I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Maybe he injected his testicle?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
