remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
