I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
