if only i could text you this smell
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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