TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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