ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
