I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
