Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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