You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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