we made out on top of his cat.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
