i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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