You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
