The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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