is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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