This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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