From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
