Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
