wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
