He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
