I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
