i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
