can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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