pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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