I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she pinky promised me she was 18
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
