Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
